Reasons Why I Can Never Live in a Large City

I don’t feel “alive” in the city. I feel anxious and eager to flee. Here’s why.

Noise. I am extremely sensitive to noise. Jackhammers, subway brakes, sirens, buses and even just the ambient noise of a city make me want to crawl into a hole and die. I actually wear industrial-strength earplugs when I have to go into Manhattan.

Animals. Yesterday I went running and saw a large toad. This morning I went running and saw a tiny bunny. Neither of them looked either fake or shabby. They were pristine suburban animals.

People. I hate crowds. They do not excite me with their energy. They drain me of mine.

Heights. I don’t like to be high up, but second to that is not liking the sensation of having things looming over me. Towering buildings, bridges, subway lines and cranes I can do without.

Other People’s Vomit. I have never seen it in close to 20 years of living in the suburbs.

Sidewalk Defecation. Nope. Haven’t seen that yet either.

Difficult Parking. [Self-explanatory]

I appreciate many aspects of cities. Lots of things to do. Round-the-clock pizza. An almost unlimited pool of interesting people to get to know. I enjoy visiting cities, within reason. I just don’t want to live in one.

Do cities make you squirrelly? Consider the suburbs. I live here, don’t I? So they’re not totally devoid of interesting people.


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