Where's Julie?
Cat. Box. Zen.
“Yesterday I was eating breakfast alone, watching the sun come up and listening to the sounds of frantic cat litter relocation. Lulled by my cat’s rhythmic scrapings and bored beyond belief by my sugar-free generic Mini Wheats, I became lost in thought.”
Heave Ho!
“There have been times over the years when I’ve felt really bad after eating or drinking something and Jonathan has said to me, ‘Just go throw up. You’ll feel better.’ Just go throw up? To me, that’s like having someone say, ‘Just take a professional-grade nail gun to your instep. It’s no big deal. You’ll feel better.'”
Adventures With Ambien
“Over breakfast, I did my usual web browsing — Google Reader, blog stats and, of course, the ever-addictive Facebook. But it was with some alarm that I noted that a version of myself had been actively posting around midnight, maybe 90 minutes after I went to sleep.”
Bad Trips
“As for New Year’s, we stepped outside into the pitch black garden and had champagne to the sounds of braying sheep. Then went back inside and watched the London Wheel not work like it was supposed to.”
Chimps in the Parking Lot
“Did you know that when you open the driver’s side door and then subsequently pull the trunk release lever on a 1997 Toyota Camry LE Sedan that this combination of actions will cause all of the doors to lock? I learned about this feature today.”
Birdbrains
“Today I saw quite the nest. It was unusual in many ways. For one thing, it was built in low shrubs, maybe four feet off the ground. At first I took this to indicate a lack of intelligence (or, at the very least, survival instinct) on the part of the nest builder. Then I noticed other aspects of the nest that made me revise my initial assessment.”